Monday, June 7, 2010

He Just Called Us Homos :: What Should I Have Done?

This past Friday evening my friend and I walked through the front door at 3 Fires Lounge in Midtown Sacramento.  We were there hanging out with 20+ guys from our local gay men's social group.  As we entered the lounge, a drunken shaved-head guy walked toward us.  We wouldn't have noticed him but that he feigned a cough while uttering "homos" as he passed.

We both heard what he said but kept walking, completely disregarding the fool.  

Two seconds later, as I processed his homo-cough, Ben, the bartender, asked what the guy said.  As soon as I said "homo" Ben made his way to their table and invited the homo-cougher's party to leave.

I was impressed with Ben's decisive and assertive action, but much less impressed with my lack thereof.

What should I have done?  What would you have done?


  1. I hear ya! It's hard sometimes to know what is the best way to react. Do we say something and risk getting punched or do we turn the other cheek and regret not being more assertive?

    Either way, kudos to Ben the Bartnder - I hope you tipped him well!

  2. You're right. But, I'm not much for turning the other cheek (well)!

  3. The timing isn't always right, that's all. The jerk escaped your reaction time; later, the bartender did the right thing. Moral: justice usually prevails, just not always on our time schedule.

    Mark S. King